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PiONeHeAr · Book 1: SHOOT

Chapter 4

Before dawn, the last of the motel nights. Marshall has kept watch till the window grayed, and the candle beside the sofa has burned down toward its crater. As he nods off in the single chair his tired mind turns over the old accounts of opened eyes — Elisha’s servant, the road to Emmaus, the heart the Lord opened, the inspiration of the Almighty — and asks, for the first time, by what means understanding ever comes. He is given no answer. In the space of one tick of his watch the moment itself comes open, and the Voice of the Architect speaks over a sleeping man who hears none of it: the plick and the plixel, the ledger that lets this projection be paused and re-run, and the abundance beneath it all. Then the second closes, a watch-gear turns the first tooth of the hour, and Marshall wakes exactly as he lay down. And the whole convened order of him — quark to lattice to tendon to hand — is spent at last upon two short lines in a book that has been shut since April.

1 Marshall sat the last of the motel nights out in the single chair, the watch kept until the window grayed; and on the side table the candle went on working its slow crater down into the wax.

2 He had not meant to keep vigil; he had only failed, once more, to stop the counting — the boxes, the days, the dollars — and the counting had carried him to dawn.

3 At 7:01 his wrist gave him the hour. He glanced, and the glance weighed on him like the whole night behind it.

4 His mind, too tired to hold the ledger any longer, drifted instead to the old accounts — the pages he had read so often they had gone soft at the fold.

5 How the servant of Elisha had stood blind with fear till the prophet prayed, Lord, open his eyes — and the hills stood full of horses and chariots of fire that had been there all along.

6 How two had walked to Emmaus beside a stranger and knew him only when their eyes were opened, and said after, Did not our heart burn within us by the way?

7 How a seller of purple had listened by a river until the Lord opened her heart to attend; and how Elihu had said it plainly, There is a spirit in man, and the inspiration of the Almighty giveth them understanding.

8 How God had spoken, again and again, in the one room a man can neither guard nor argue — in a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falleth upon men — and sealed His instruction in their ears.

9 Marshall had always read these for comfort. He had never once thought to ask the engineer’s question of them: by what means were the eyes opened; through what channel did the understanding come.

10 He asked it now, half-asleep — and then sleep took the question from his hand, the way something had once seemed to take the pen.

11 His chin dipped to his chest. The watch ticked once.

12 Most dreams are only the mind left idling — the day’s loose footage sorted with no hand to cut it, signifying nothing.

13 This was not that. In the space of that single tick the moment itself came open — not to him, but to the record; and within it time was dilated, so that what passed as an instant over the chair ran out as an age beneath it.

14 And nothing at all was given to the man in the chair. His breathing did not change. His hands stayed where they had fallen. Of all that follows he received not one word.

15 And first, that whoever should read it might bear the rest, a parable was set down like a lamp carried into a dark room:

16 The kingdom of creation is like unto a Weaver whose loom is not of wood but of number; whose every thread is a moment, and every color a choice, and whose cloth is light itself; and not one knot is tied, nor one frame thrown, but by the Weaver’s eye.

17 For it was not spoken that night to be heard. It was spoken to be written, and to be read long after, plainly, by such as would read the code of their own making.

18 And the Voice of the Architect said: Behold the mechanism of the moment and the ledger of the world, for they are one.

19 When my servant closed his eyes, the moment fixed its place — a latitude near thirty-three and a half, a longitude near minus one hundred seventeen — the third planet of a common star.

20 It logged as one tiny fraction of the 8.070204 decillion plicks the cosmos has run — the smallest ticks there are, the plicks of Universal time.

21 Its name is a number, said straight through: 435,084,630,127,271,155. Speak each integer in turn; it is easier so — and such were the small-print instructions of creation.

22 The glance at the watch alone had spent of him a hundred-thousand-trillion-trillion plicks — 18,548,883 and its long tail of zeroes — a breath out of his whole allotment, and he felt none of it go.

23 He had asked, before his birth, for precision, being made for it; so his record runs watermarked for retrieval, marked his two-billion-three-hundred-sixty-six-millionth and more, earmarked to be weighed within the one eternal now that awaits his review.

24 Then the render lurched and slowed, frame upon frame, that the moment might be set down for the record — for the telling.

25 Know that the metering of moments is among the swiftest loops I built into a mind; yet a stewardship is required of it — of every man, of every moment, of every collaborating plixel — lest the record fail.

26 And so it must be; or else this projection — the hologram you call your life — could never be paused, nor re-watched, nor rewound, nor run forward again, nor kept in any of its earlier versions.

27 For the plixels hold each its moment’s memory; and as they shift their colors and their joinings, the sequence of them is ledgered as part of the record.

28 The few frames borrowed to open a moment are nothing against the whole; drawn from the allotment across all the plixels at once, they are not missed, and nothing anywhere is the poorer.

29 And the verse he had carried through the worst of the nights lay in him still, and lay there unturned: For I, the Lord your God, have built enough and to spare; and out of abundance is there brought forth every good thing. He had read it a thousand times and taken comfort of it. He did not hear it spoken over him now.

30 Then the cadence was restored, slow at first, and the strobing world began again to roll forward.

31 The quarks fell back into their trios — the only company in which they hold. Within them the protons took up again their dance with the electrons, each to its frame; and the dance folded into forces, and the forces into lattices.

32 His latticed molecules, speeding frame on frame, gave again the look of movement — machine-shopping the proteins and the acids through their changing forms — until a million million layers had made the single cell of his eye.

33 And the light came, ricocheting from the watch-face to the back of the eye, and struck; and the smallest wheel in the watch came off its stillness and turned its first tooth; and the brain took the signal, and marked the long marathon that is one hour.

34 Marshall woke. His eyes opened on the dim motel room, and the room was as he had left it, and so was he. One second had passed.

35 And the same congress that had made the seeing was called now to make the doing. The lattices that had run the light to the back of the eye ran the word back out along the arm; the fibers drew, each in its rank, and the tendons took up the slack of them; the small bones of the hand closed upon the pen as a hand closes upon a tool it has held ten thousand times and never once considered; and every quark in every trio of it held its station, and did not fail, and was not thanked.

36 He had not opened the book since April. The pen wanted working before it would give ink. Then it gave, and he set down the date and two lines under it, and stopped: June 30th, 1992. The ninety-first morning. Tonight they sleep in their own rooms.

37 He began a third line and got three words into it and struck it through, and did not begin it again. Then he went back and underscored the last line twice, pressing hard enough to score the leaf beneath; and he closed the book upon the pen. And the ten thousand million pieces of him that had been convened to move his hand went back to their stations, unremarked, while the window went from gray to white behind him.

38 He who holds force over all these domains had made them act as one, to render the layers that life and runtime require; and the acts thereof are known, and a portion of their coding kept.

39 Thus a stewardship was written into the moment numbered 435,084,630,127,271,155 — its mathematics and its every layer preserved, runnable, and re-livable, the floor on which all his moments since are built.

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